Picky Eaters: Coping

In my university classes that I teach, my college students are required to do a food diary for two days, where they record everything they eat/drink. I'm absolutely astonished at some of the entries:

Breakfast--nothing
Snack--2 cups of coffee with cream and sugar
Lunch--a hotdog and a soda
Snack--Doritos
Dinner--Ramen noodles and a beer

Another one:

Breakfast--pop tart, protein shake
Lunch--nothing
Snack--Snickers bar
Dinner--hamburger, french fries, and a diet soda
Snack--leftover pizza slice

Some of the entries are so appaling to me I can't/don't even want to believe that these people are telling the truth. I wonder, how can these people not help but feeling like trash eating this way?!

Which leads me to further questions: Where do eating habits, behavior, and patterns originate? Were my students never challenged or encouraged or made to eat healthful foods as kids? Pondering this, I've thought a lot about my own struggle with getting my kids to eat a variety of healthful foods.

My kids are picky eaters. Yes, picky vegan eaters. They do eat many foods that most American kids probably have never heard of, but alas, they are still human (sorry to destroy any illusion that this was otherwise the case) and we have our fair share of battles with pickyness.

Sometimes I have conversations in my head with my kids. They go something like this:

"Hey kids! Why don't you stop being so finicky and broaden your horizons. You know, try mom's zucchini stir-fry, squash soup, ect. There's more to the world than soy yogurt, PB&J sandwiches, bagels, and cold cereal. Your picky ways are driving me crazy!!!"

Please let me not be the only parent who feels this way.

Perhaps my problem is that I only welcome the madness by standing firm and not allowing them to eat whatever they want.

Example. My oldest son is in a HUGE peanut butter craze. He'll eat sliced apples if he can dip it in peanut butter. He could eat PB&J sandwiches for breakfast, lunch, and dinner (that is IF I let him, which over my dead body!). Sometimes it drives me crazy. Yes, peanut butter, the natural 100% organic peanut kind, as long as you don't have an allergy, is a great calorie/nutrient dense food for a growing kid. But, balance people.

I try to be somewhat accommodating by not making super exotic stuff for the kids (I try out a new dish once or twice a week, but I usually stick to the tried and true), or at least keep the veggies pretty non-mixed with the the rest of the meal. For example, rice and steamed broccoli with tofu is always a hit because everything is separate. Maybe it's inherent in every kid to have an aversion to mixed combinations food (like soup or stir-frys), or maybe my kids just inherited it from their father. Who knows? But the fact remains. Mashed potatoes with a side of green beans, also a hit, because again, the food is clearly separated.

And then there are the onions. I love cooked onions and would put them in 90% of my dishes if my family weren't such onion haters. A lot of times I can sneak them in, but if one of my sons realizes there is even one diced onion on his plate he pushes it away.

This is where family dinner becomes so important. You know, the lost art of everyone sitting down, TV/cell phone/radio off, while a nice home cooked meal is enjoyed by all. I'd like to say I like to do this because of the conversations we have. Maybe some day, when my kids are older and we don't have to spend all our time micro-managing spills, picky eaters, and breaking up the wrestling matches (that would be my two boys).

I like family dinner because unlike lunch and breakfast, I can have the support of my husband in encouraging and getting my kids to try new foods, eat the healthy things that they normally wouldn't. I admit though, because of our busy schedules, that family dinners are not a nightly occurrence (at least with both my husband and myself), and that makes me sad. But I do try very hard to make it happen as often as I can, because we all eat better when it happens and we get to bond in a way that can only happen over the dinner table.

I hate to say this, but I really don't think there's a solution, per se, to picky eaters. We all have our own tastes, I understand this, but I believe our palates are maliable, and changeable, and it all starts in childhood (actually research has shown that our tastes begin to forumulate in the womb, based on what the mother eats..). I don't know if kids will necessarily "grow out" of bad habits (like, never eating any vegetables). There certainly needs to be some sort of parent intervention involved.

There are things that we do to encourage our kids to try new foods and eat more variety. Here are a few things I've found helpful:

1) Food is eaten in the kitchen, at the table. No walking around or playing while eating, otherwise their food is put away. On very rare occasions, we'll do a popcorn movie party and allow the kids to eat popcorn on a blanket while they watch a movie.

2) On most days of the week we start our morning with oatmeal or some other cooked grain cereal, topped with plant milk, 1-2 tsp. of ground flax seed, and some brown sugar/sucanant/or agave. I'm not opposed to a small amount of sweetener on top--the oatmeal still has much less sugar than processed cereal and it gets the kids excited to eat a big bowl of whole grains. They usually have this with a side of fruit (oranges, berries, or strawberries) or a small cup of apple/orange/grape juice. Having a good breakfast makes the day run more smoothly and I feel better about things knowing they started it off right. I regret the days I allow them to have cold cereal for breakfast because they are hungry about two seconds later. Smoothies & cold cereal are usually served as snacks or light dinners (on days when I really just CAN'T cook).

3) I never force them to "finish your plate." But. If they want to have dessert, they must finish all of the vegetables served to them and most of their dinner. If they aren't hungry, fine, they don't have to eat, but if they want to eat anything else, including dessert, they have to eat what's on their plate. I save their leftover food and if they get hungry later, that's what they can eat. I'm not always a stickler with this, but I try to do this more often than not. Also, I try to serve reasonable portions (kids really do have much smaller stomachs than us adults).

4) You don't have to a like a food, but you have to at least try it (am I a parent, or what?). I know kids hate this (I'm sure I did).

5) My kitchen is not a cafeteria. You eat what's served, or you can go hungry. Sounds harsh, but it's a survival tactic I picked up from my mom, who had to feed a family of nine, so picky eaters were absolutely not allowed.

6) If my kids are hungry between meals and they want to snack on cookies or crackers, or have something that they've already eaten a lot of that day (like PB&J sandwiches), instead of saying NO, I say, "That's for later, or you already had that today," and then give them options, like, "you may have an apple, banana, pistachios, almonds, or we can make popcorn." If none of those sound good, usually it's a sign they aren't really hungry and/or just want a treat.

If you have any tips or tricks you've found to be helpful, please share: What have you done to cope with picky eaters?