What Motherhood Has Taught Me

Since it's Mother's Day tomorrow, it got me thinking.  Got me thinking how I love these words: momma, mommy, mom.  

When I hear them directed at me, it means I'm significant.  It means that there is someone (X 4), who look to me for nurturing, love, knowledge.  

This is power.  I had no idea how much power I'd have as a mother.  Responsibility, yes, I was aware of that.  But did I know that my choice to love, to nurture, to feed, to play, to laugh, to smile, could yield such a marvelous, quiet, & life changing power?

Photo by Red Bean Photography

I've spent a good chunk of the last decade figuring out what it means to be a mother.

I don't think my experience is very typical of most.  I had my first child in my early twenties & 3 more children quickly followed.

I was not one of those that dreamed of being a young mom.  Or wished for oodles of babies.

As a teenager, I had ambitious dreams for my twenties:  college, master's degree, lots of travel.  I wanted to create & carve out a fulfilling, rich life filled with interesting people, places & things.  Sure motherhood was in there somewhere, I'm sure.  But it was most likely a side project.

Fortuitously, my ambitious path converged with my dashing future husband.  We married, & soon realized what we wanted more than anything was to create a family.  We wanted a boat load of kids.  We had a vision of laughter, love, & lots of it.

We knew it wouldn't be easy.  And it wasn't.

He still had 3 years of undergraduate school.  His career choice wasn't certain.  We didn't have a lot of money.  But we did it anyway.  We made those kids.  And boy, was it hard work.

Pregnancy, each one, taught me humility.

I had no idea how it would try my endurance.  I'd like to say I succeeded at rolling with the punches, but many days I was a bawling mess.  Nauseated.  Tired.

And I was one of those that does have out of control cravings will pregnancy.  I didn't want to even look at anything green.  If it was healthy, I most likely could NOT stomach it.  The weight gain (I gained 40-50 pounds each pregnancy).  The disruption to intimacy with my husband.  For the record, it is not the same when you're nauseated, 8 months pregnant, & 40 pounds heavier.  Pregnancy was most certainly a sacrifice.

The beauty of true sacrifice though, is that it is giving something up for something greater.

Yes, my body was not mine for 9 months, along with so many other things, but out of it came a perfect human being.  One that was a little me, a little Joseph.  A person that was dependent on my strength, my grace, my good will, to get through their early years of life.

And with each child I was amazed at how my heart grew.

The people, the places, the degrees.

What are those compared to my son's beautiful green eyes & the way my daughter snuggles into my chest or watching my children accomplish a great task, like riding a bike for the first time?

If I could go back & talk with my teenage self, I'd say:

"Just you wait girl.  You won't believe how much you're gonna love these 3 words:  'I love you momma.'"

Submitted to Mom's Best Network.